In our house I play 3 rules; daughter,mother and provider. It was never easy playing this rules at the same time especially when situation calls that I have to choose which come first in this rules. Good thing that life has already experiences that help me play this rules with much needed strength and confidence. There have been many times Ive fallen without anyone who catches me, picked me and comforted me.
As a daughter, it was never easy catching up with a 52 year old single-maiden-mom. Since I was a child Ive always wish my mom and I bond like the Gilmore Girls do but sad to say we never did. Though I still believe that its never to late for everything. I just need to arranged my life now because I feel that as long as long as I'm not stable and living in comfort we wont be closer. My mom never got married or never ever had any serious relationship (haven't seen some guy visiting her everyday so maybe none!) again as I grow up. I don't know why but I think its one of the major issue why she constantly got some mood swings and just got mad at times over small problems or things. Ive been trying hard to understand her by doing everything to provide her the comforts of living but it still not enough. And sometimes it would reach to the point that I have to just let her be, if she is mad then that's it! Because I don't just play as her daughter all the time, I still have 2 rules to that needs me too.
As a mother, Being a single mom is never easy because you will need to play 2 rules; a mother and a father to my son. Oh! I should have said 4 rules... (chuckle) Anyways, raising a child is crucial since what you teach and what he learn came from how you raise him to be. And now my major problem is a father-figure for my son since there is only mom and I in the house he tends to imitates some feminine ways. I'm really hoping to remedy it and right now confused as to how I will do that... I don't want to just grab some guys because its not going to be a good idea having relationship just for a sake of necessity.
As a provider, well this is really tough. Its never easy earning money. It has been a major factor in living specially now that prices of commodities increased. Food, shelter, current and water bills, clothing and etc... I need to provide this for my family.